Ten Unwritten Commandments of UK Fandom

Yesterday, Sarah Spain (a Chicago sports writer and blogger for ESPNW) wrote a post about the unwritten rules of being a female sports fan (The Right Way for Females to Fan). Although I have a few thoughts about her post, some positive (YES! Those “jerseys” from Victoria’s Secret ARE the stupidest!) and some negative (Uh, does the fact that this article was written at all say anything about how we still assign gender to sports?), I did start to thinking about the unwritten rules for being a Kentucky fan. Here’s what I came up with:

1. Never, ever, ever cheer for Duke basketball (or Christian Laettner). I can imagine scenarios in which it may be acceptable to cheer for Louisville- like, if they’re in the tournament longer than we are (which would never happen, but relax, people, this is hypothetical) and you want to root for the state of Kentucky in general. Without Bobby Knight, Indiana is a lot less detestable. UNC is, in my mind at least, an elite program worthy of our respect. But Duke is in a league of its own. We hate their stinking guts. They make us vomit. They are the scum between our toes. The Stomp, The Shot, Coach K’s legions of sheeplike disciples, and Dick Vitale’s constant praise of the Cameron Crazies- no. Just no. It is never acceptable to feel anything short of gut-wrenching hatred for Duke. Even ambivalence is too kind.

 

Note: Many of you tweeted at me (which is awesome! I love when that happens!) disagreeing with my statement above and arguing that in fact, UK fans should never wear red or feel sympathetic towards that red team down I-64. I don’t disagree; however, I think hating Duke outweighs hating Louisville on my Commandments list. I think that playing Little Bro every year and being so geographically close to them makes our hatred for them a little different than hating Duke, who has broken our hearts and stolen our dignity on occassion. But, that’s just me. Feel free to agree/disagree in the comments.

2. Stand up and clap during the fight song. Similarly, stand up when the UK flag makes its rounds and faces your seat in the second half of basketball games. Throw your number one during My Old Kentucky Home. Don’t think for a second you are too cool or too lazy to stay in your seat during these moments. If the blue hairs can get up, so can you.

3. Topics akin to religion and politics that we avoid at the dinner table: Joker Phillips, Tubby Smith, the money given to football, and the Indiana series, among others. These discussions just won’t be pretty, so let’s skip them altogether. Ooh! Are those Sister Schubert rolls?

4. If a celebrity gives us a shoutout, we as BBN are indebted to them and must immediately buy/read/see their albums/books/movies, quote them excessively on Twitter, and post and repost pictures of them throwing the three goggles (also filed under: Drake, Jay-Z, Tucker Max, LeBron James, and Josh Hopkins).

However, World Wide Wes is like that close family friend that you call “Uncle” and attends all the family reunions, but isn’t technically related. Don’t try to force an association between us and him.

5. Always refer to the upcoming season as “our year.” No matter the sport.

6. Be able to name all of the Unforgettables. Really, this should be instituted in elementary school curriculum across the state.

7. Always wear Kentucky apparel when you travel. You’ll make friends and induce envy in those around you, and who knows, maybe the flight attendant will upgrade you to first class.

8. At least one of your social media profile pictures must include the following: three goggles, a present or former UK basketball player, John Walling, a unibrow, Jorts, or a national championship celebrations.

9. It’s not hoarding if it’s UK memorabilia. This applies to newspapers, Sports Illustrated issues, lawn gnomes, anything with an autograph, old t-shirts, Orange Leaf receipts, ticket stubs, free posters from Rupp, Makers Mark bottles, coozies, baby clothes (even if you don’t have a baby, although that’s admittedly a little strange), license plates, plastic cups and other drinkware, lunchboxes, stuffed animals, flags, stickers and pretty much anything short of severed body parts. Although if the body part had a UK tattoo on it… nah, just kidding.  

In my mind, this does not belong on a “fail” blog. 

10. No major life events during March Madness. Weddings, funerals, and births should be rescheduled accordingly. Missing said event because of a UK game is automatically forgiven. Alternatively, such events should make sure a television is present to show the entire game, complete with sound.

And one to grow on…

11. Billy who?

Any more ideas? Share them in the comments or tweet them @KristenGeilKSR.

Source: ksrcollege.com

Documentary to Come Out About UK Fans

As we all know- from the videos that keep coming up of Woodland and Euclid after the title win this year (and I think it’s amazing that nearly a month later, yes, they STILL keep coming), from the comments y’all leave so sweetly on our blogs, from the calls to the radio show, from the hundreds of people who will come see an open practice on a random week day, and much much more- UK fans are the most passionate around. In fact, some may argue that we’re more famous than the individuals who play for our university. And finally, they’re going to make a movie about us. We’re going to Hollywood, BBN!

Okay, that might be an exaggeration, but still. Jason Epperson, a Winchester native and local director/writer/producer, has taken on the task of making a documentary about the “obsessive love story of UK fans.” Entitled “The Sixth Man: A Krazy Love Story,” the film will follow fans throughout the season and focus on the energy the fans devote to the basketball program. It is scheduled to be released in October, right before Big Blue Madness, to whet our appetites for the upcoming season. A few interviews with former Cats Jodie Meeks and Josh Harrellson have already been leaked, as well as our fearless leader Matt Jones. Check out the movie’s Facebook page for up to date info. I’ll leave you with some video clips.

Interview with Jodie Meeks:

 

Interview with Matt Jones:

Interview with Josh Harrellson:

@KristenGeilKSR for adventures in babysitting on this Saturday.

Source: ksrcollege.com

BBN Made Him A Celebrity Overnight

Good morning, BBN. Did you wake up a little grumpy this morning? I hear Mondays suck. I’m one of those irritating “morning people,” so I wouldn’t know. But here, since I can’t virtually give you a cup of coffee or advocate calling in sick to work or class, let’s start this week off with a look at one of BBN and KSR’s favorite Kentucky fans: Stone Cold Willow.

Stone Cold rose to fame after filming YouTube videos detailing who was on his “Hit List,” dominating Tin Roof’s dunk contest, and creating his own dance complete with personal Fat Head (which he stores behind the stage at Tin Roof). Upon meeting him in person, it’s impossible not to get caught up in his infectious enthusiasm for all things UK basketball, and he’s become a local celebrity.

Recently, his elevated status earned him an invitation to throw out the first pitch at the Lexington Legends game on April 26. Rumors abound that he will audition for KSTV’s casting call. I heard that Tin Roof is listed as his emergency contact on information forms, and that “Twitter After Dark” was shut down by the FCC for being too provocative and not using the “retweet” feature correctly.Regardless, he’s an absolute hoot and his passion for UK basketball is unparalleled. Stone Cold, I dedicate this Monday morning to you.

Follow William Bolden, @StoneColdWillow. Follow Kristen Geil, @KristenGeilKSR.


Source: ksrcollege.com

Now That We All Have Some Free Time…

Much like John Calipari in this picture, I’m at a loss. At a loss for what to do now that the college basketball season is over and there are no longer dozens of games constantly playing in the background on my television. Recruiting rumors and NBA draft predictions can only maintain my attention for so long, and I don’t understand the appeal of actually watching golf (wouldn’t you rather be outside playing it? Or read about it in the paper the next day? My dad is probably crying right now. I’m sorry)

I’m not alone, right? Surely the rest of basketball-obsessed BBN finds themselves facing this problem almost every year, especially now that we’re coming down from such an amazing season-ending high. So how can we fill all our newfound free time? My parents want me to say studying right about now, but we all know that’s not realistic with spring fever quickly settling in. Instead, here are a few new hobbies that BBN would do well to pick up until Big Blue Madness returns in oh, two hundred days or so.

1. Start following UK Baseball- I promise this isn’t a not-so-subtle plug for the site, but David Mulloy and John Wilmhoff are doing great work covering the UK baseball team’s already-successful season. The team is off to a school-record 28-2 start, and this weekend they’ll face a worthy rival in Ole Miss. If you need a break from losing money at Keeneland or staying inside watching men take hours and hours to hit a tiny ball in a hole, get outside and enjoy a baseball game or two. If you need any more convincing, John Wilmhoff had some very persuasive reasons on Twitter last night…

DO YOU SEE THAT? IT SAYS PARTY DECK. RIGHT THERE. I’m sold.

2. You know that TV series you’ve always meant to watch but have never gotten around to? And you feel really left out and kind of stupid whenever every single person on Twitter is all, “OMG MAD MEN GAHHHHH” or “WHOA downtown abbey. WHOA.” Well, now’s your chance to be in the loop again. Hack someone’s Netflix, watch the entire series thus far on one extremely hungover I-can’t-possibly-leave-my-bed day, and come out with all your knowledge by the time the next episode airs. Really, it’ll probably take about the same amount of time you would have spent watching college basketball anyway, so no harm done there.

3. Practice for basketball next year. It’s never too early to get a head start on clever cheers, t-shirt slogans, and gestures for our 2012 class. Start YouTubing Alex Poythress highlight videos, follow Willie Cauley on Twitter, and wonder what potential headlines we can create with Archie Goodwin’s name (“‘Good-wins’ for UK.” Calling it now).  If we get Shabazz Muhammad, Nerlens Noel, Anthony Bennett, and/or Alex Oriakhi, this hobby becomes even more time-consuming and thrilling.

Also, if UK students are going to try and do a flash mob for the championship game again next year, y’all should probably go ahead and start practicing now.Monday night’s was a little rough- probably too long a routine and too short a rehearsal time. We have the whole summer. If Filipino prisoners can choreograph Thriller, surely we can coordinate a student section flash mob. Surely.

4. Buy your own fathead (they only cost $25. TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS! That’s one of the most worthy investments I’ve ever considered). Carry it around Lexington. Become Lexington mascot. Be loved and embraced by all. Except Stone Cold Willow, who will be jealous you stole his glory and put you at number one on his hit list.

5. Rewatch the championship game. Again. And again. And again. I know you all DVRed it and locked the recording so that it will never be deleted. Just give in and watch the game until you have every dunk, three goggle, and block memorized.

@KristenGeilKSR. I tweet when I’m bored, and other times too. 

Source: ksrcollege.com

An Stranger in a Big Blue Land

This is a picture of my friend Hannah (left, in the vintage grey Wildcat shirt) and me, proudly sporting our three goggles and unibrows. Just by looking at this picture, you would think Hannah was a native Lexingtonian who had followed the Cats all her life- I mean, just look at how excited she is (and I don’t think the game had even started yet). However, you’d be wrong. Hannah came to Kentucky for her spring break with her roommate and my good friend, Connor. What follows is an interview with Hannah about her experience as a honorary member of BBN.

Where are you from? What did you know about Kentucky basketball prior to this visit? 

I am Hannah Leirmoe and I am from Clover, SC. I go to Wofford College. Go Terriers. I knew Kentuckians loved UK bball and that Connor was a crazy fan. I was a competitive cheerleader for 8 years and knew UK had the best cheerleaders. I had seen them perform many times.

How did you and Connor decide to come back for this game?

It is Wofford’s spring break this week. Connor and I knew we were coming to Lexington, but we were not sure when. When UK made it to the Final Four, we knew we should come back for the championship if they beat Louisville on Saturday. Who would want to miss that huge party? Kentucky fans are nuts.
What was your first reaction driving around Lexington on game day and seeing all the blue clad people milling about?

When we first got to Lexington I thought it was so weird how everyone from babies to men mowing lawns was wearing UK apparel. I’ve seen people love USC in South Carolina, but this was some sports team pride that was, no offense, ridiculous.

What did you do for the game? How was the atmosphere where you watched?

I went to Local Taco with some Lexington local girls Connor grew up with. I dressed appropriately in UK blue and even had a blue unibrow drawn on my face. People were crunched in there shoulder to shoulder and everyone was pounding beer and cheering. I actually started three cheers. Fact.

What was your reaction at the end of the game?

The post game celebration was nuts. We ran around in the street. People were climbing light posts and cheering. It lasted forever. This random guy ran up to me and threw me over his shoulder running around screaming.
Did you have a favorite player?

My favorite player is Darius. He’s a senior and he’s really freaking tall and that smile. Haaayyy. However, I didn’t know who he was prior to all of this. Sorry, I’m not really into sports.

I hear you actually met Darius at Sal’s on Tuesday night. How did that happen?

We were eating at Sal’s the day after the game. There was a big group of dudes eating beside us. They all had on UK gear. After many awkward moments of staring we finally realized it was Darius and Michael Kidd-Gilchrist. Connor freaked out. Her parents and I forced her to get up with me and get a pic and autograph. Duh. He didn’t put his arm around us in the picture but he did smile.
What is your favorite UK cheer?

My favorite UK cheer is what’s ya favorite color baby blue and white. I actually like all the cheers.

Will you come back for a basketball game next season?

Will I come back? If Connor brings me this way I will insist we attend another game.

Anything else you want to say?

I look good in blue. That’s word.

Connor, Darius, and Hannah at Sal’s.

Follow Hannah @hannahjmo and me @KristenGeilKSR. We’re both funny.

Source: ksrcollege.com

Where Were YOU?

Monday night was one of those nights that everyone will tell their future grandkids about (or their dogs, if you’re like me). I’ll always remember where I was- at Local Taco with a prime viewing seat of both the television and Limestone. I asked Twitter where they were, and got some interesting answers. BBN truly is everywhere.

Proud of you, little sis:

If you can’t be at the bar you love, love the one you’re at.

More

Oooooh baby, do you know what that’s worth? Ooooh, heaven is a place on Earth.

Bird’s-eye view of Jayhawks going down?
Color me impressed, Matt.

Catherine is luckier than the rest of us.

But he’s not bitter or anything.

I hope you were the naked guy on #LexingtonPoliceScanner.

Amy’s phone was so excited about #8 that it took a dive into a Tin Roof Port-A-Potty.

So Pazzo’s = Heaven?

Abby, you are so glamorous.

So nice, she had to say it twice.

o heyyyyy, Brennan.

I cried too, guys. No shame at all.

@KristenGeilKSR. I have no idea why the font switched to Comic Sans randomly. Please don’t hate me. 

Source: ksrcollege.com

#LexingtonPoliceScanner

On Monday night, I, along with most of Lexington, was lucky enough to be part of a group of thousands of people partying in the streets and celebrating UK’s eighth national championship. You know who wasn’t as lucky? The police who had to put up with us all night. Trying to maintain some semblance of order amidst fires, flipped cars, broken glass, and drunks everywhere is an order taller than Anthony Davis- something I can’t even imagine.

Fortunately, with the help of the Lexington Police Scanner, we’re all able to relive Monday’s events from the perspective of the Lexington Police Department.Deadspin recorded, cut and edited clips of the night’s best sound bites, and #LexingtonPoliceScanner was a number one trend on Twitter for awhile on Monday night. I searched the hashtag and found some of the night’s best tweets for you. Enjoy!

Maintain KSR College Integrity, please!

I’m almost as entertaining as #LexingtonPoliceScanner. @KristenGeilKSR 

Source: ksrcollege.com

You Heard The Mayor

“I, Jim Gray,

Mayor of the Lexington-Fayette Urban County Government, in recognition of UK’s remarkable run to another Final Four, and the chance to defeat our in-state rival en route to an eighth national title, do hereby proclaim March 30 - April 2, 2012 BIG BLUE DAY, and urge the Big Blue Nation to proudly wear blue and white.”

What are you waiting for, BBN? If the Mayor decrees it, it must be done.

Source: ksrcollege.com

You Stay Classy, Kentucky

Throughout this week, I have been completely overstimulated by the media hype surrounding the Kentucky-Louisville showdown. I’ve been sent links to the same article three times over, ESPN has been permanently blaring in my living room, and I start to feel anxiety if I don’t check Twitter once an hour. It’s pathetic, I realize, but in my defense, it’s kind of my job these days.

With all the media I’ve consumed this week, I’ve noticed than journalists tend to take pretty polarizing stances in their portrayal of Kentucky. UK is either One and Done U with Cheatin’ Cal at the helm, or the most aesthetically pleasing basketball that has been played since, well 1996. No matter which picture the journalists paint, however,one fact remains the same: Kentucky’s fans are borderline rapid with passion for Kentucky basketball. 

In Kentucky (and Lexington most of all), this is universally heralded as a great quality in a UK fan. Our zeal is our trademark. But unfortunately, the “good” fan stories aren’t the ones that make it into national news. Instead, stories and videos and “Oh my god they did WHAT?!” reactions are featured. The dueling dialysis patients made ESPN. The now-notorious “Kate on State” video has spawned a parody Twitter account and is rumored to have been purchased by Tosh.0, a a television show dedicated to viral videos. A Craig’s List ad from a man offering his wife in exchange for a trip to New Orleans has surfaced- “Look out for the Bluegrass State and hook this pimp up okay?” One article recounts the tale of brothers who got in a phonebook and hammer-hurling fight of colliding loyalties.  Calipari himself referred to fans as “pirhanas” who are viciously defensive about anyone who attacks Kentucky’s program and image- a joking comment that was meant to be a compliment to our basketball knowledge and passion but could easily be taken out of context. Each singular incident is no big deal, and most are even kind of funny. But together, they become powerful and defining of the typical Kentucky fan.

And yes, people will take those incidents out of context. They will discuss them as indicators of all that is wrong with Kentucky basketball and will paint us as hicks or fans gone wild who sacrifice brain space in favor of basketball statistics (I cringe any time an article mentions UK and UL’s academic rankings. Is that really necessary this week?).

So as fans, should we care about our public image? Personally, I think stories similar to the ones I used above would happen with other schools, just maybe not to such an extreme extent. They definitely wouldn’t be as publicized as they are as a result of any affiliation with Kentucky. In that sense, I tend to let any negative comments roll off my MKG-jerseyed back. Individual incidents aren’t representative of the whole, but Kentucky fans should always be wary of national criticism we receive because of our fanaticism.

If we win Saturday, I am completely comfortable with someone dumping a pitcher of beer on my head. If we win Monday, I will lead the charge onto Limestone. But, like my fellow KSR and KSR College writers have been harping on encouraging all week, I hope Kentucky fans take the high road and avoid any questionable national recognition. Kentucky as a state already gets enough of a crap reputation as it is. Let’s not add more fuel to their fire.

@KristenGeilKSR

Source: ksrcollege.com

We’re All In This Together: A Rebuttal

On Tuesday, Ally confessed her inability to watch a big UK game in the vicinity of multitudes of people at a bar or restaurant. Ally, I used to be like you. I would only watch games with my father, or in my dorm room with one or two other people. I needed a safe place. A little pocket of seclusion where I could be embarrassed in peace about Michael Porter being our point guard, where no one could see me cringe at Billy Gillespie’s woeful attempts at being a respectable human being basketball coach. But then a magical thing happened- I turned 21.

Well, to be fair, that’s not the only thing that happened. Around the time I turned 21, John Calipari was getting in his zone, or rather, our zone. John Wall shots were invented, Tin Roof started selling the Big Cuz (which should, for all practical purposes, be illegal), and the town of Lexington was waking up from its crappy-basketball-induced hibernation. With my fresh horizontal ID in hand, I began to venture out to different restaurants and bars to casually catch a UK game, and I quickly discovered the benefits of watching games surrounded by other Cats fans. 

First of all, the atmosphere is absolutely contagious. Being surrounded by people dressed in blue, cutting their jeans into jorts on the spot, and starting “C! A! T! S!” chants is enough to put a smile on anyone’s face. The pregame excitement cuts out whatever jitters I may have, but if I’m still antsy enough to start lunging, I could easily find someone to join me. All I’d have to do would be say “It’s good luck”- BBN is nothing if not superstitious.

Going along with that, any emotion you feel during the game immediately becomes amplified by a million. Sure, I do three goggles at home when Lamb hits his first three. But when I’m with others, those modest goggles turn into a full-on squat down to the floor, complete with a fist pump with my other arm and an “OOHH!” of satisfied exultation. Seriously, sometimes I’m sore the next day. Similarly, when the refs make a bad call or someone on the other team commits a dirty foul on sweet baby MKG, I don’t just get annoyed. I get irate, joining my fellow viewers in screaming obscenities at the television and stomping our feet in disbelief. It’s a mob mentality, and so help me if it’s not intoxicating. 

You get to meet some fun people too. BBN is a large, widespread metropolis, and it’s exciting to branch out from your usual crew. The people sitting next to you may know some interesting facts you don’t about Marquis Teague’s progression as a point guard compared to Brandon Knight, or maybe that girl over there took Perry Stevenson to a sorority formal one time. We’re all there to watch the Cats, but there’s no reason we can’t socialize at the same time.

One of the most awkward pictures I have ever been a part of.

Sure, there are some potential drawbacks that go with watching big games in public settings. Yes, it’s hard to hear the television over people talking (although I can honestly say I never had that problem at Tin Roof last year- we had a great crowd that knew how to properly watch a ball game). But seriously- do you REALLY want to hear what Dick Vitale is rambling about? If you need to know what a particular call is, download the KSR app to your smartphone and follow the Live Blog (shameless plug). And yes, fighting for seats is a contact sport at times- so get there early to lock a table down, make friends with a server who can save you a seat, or just plan on standing. Once the game starts, a good crowd tends to be glued to the game anyway, and seating is inconsequential. If you’re adjacent to a particularly hostile group of fans, buy the next pitcher. It’s that simple.

Since this is KSR College specifically, I want to add this last one perk in here: assuming you can’t attend the game in person, watching a game at a bar is part of the college experience. In a town like Lexington, where everyone rallies behind the same team and plans their schedules around games, going to your favorite place for a game is a twice-weekly tradition you’ll associate with some of your best memories as a student. Sure, it’s crowded, hard to get a drink, and somewhat depressing if you lose and the bar empties out faster than Rick Pitino- but that just goes with the territory.

Oh, and if you win? All hell breaks loose in the most pleasurable way possible. I was at Tin Roof last when UK beat Ohio State and when they beat UNC to go to the Final Four. For the sake of what dignity I have left, there is a lot that went down that I cannot write about. What I can say- high fives between strangers (one of the most beautiful things on this planet). Celebratory beer showers (don’t even act like you’re mad). Spontaneous chanting (JORTS! JORTS JORTSJORTS!). And perhaps best of all, being right on campus when the couches start burning and the cops shut down Limestone (driving to the scene as soon as the game is over just isn’t the same as being an instigator). I agree whole-heartedly with David Jackson, who wrote in his post earlier this week that he’d rather be in Lexington than New Orleans for the Final Four (so much so that I’ve already made plans to leave Chicago for Lex that weekend). There’s simply nothing like it.

I am in there. Somewhere. Also, who’s the guy in red?

We all know Big Blue Nation is the best. When it’s time to watch a game, there’s no one I’d rather be surrounded by than people who I know for a fact are as die-hard as I am. We’re #LaFamilia, after all. Considering the roll UK has been on the past couple of years (and this year especially), I feel a lot safer watching the game in public because I have faith that this team can withstand nearly anything*. Bottom line- UK basketball is fun again, and when it comes to watching a big game, the more the merrier. 

*Only exception being the Monstars coached by Wooden with Dwayne Wade and Jamal Mashburn’s lab-created offspring as starting forward.

Follow me @KristenGeilKSR to learn whether or not I suffer a third-degree sunburn at any point this week.

Source: ksrcollege.com