Let’s Put The Past Behind Us

I’ll admit it. I audibly groaned when the Hornets chose point guard Austin Rivers with their tenth pick in the first round Thursday night. Throughout his freshman year of college, he radiated cockiness while being a shoot-first point guard who didn’t always choose a great shot. He’s been called “toxic” and “locker room cancer.” Plus, Duke (enough said). And now HE was going to be on my new favorite team in the city I have already tabbed for my next residence, in charge of sending our boy Anthony Davis sick alley-oops and low-post feeds? It’s enough to make a girl “UUUGGGHHHH.”

But unfortunately, the NBA is not high school (most of the time), and in order for Davis to succeed in NOLA and win allllll the awards next season, Rivers has to succeed as well. It’s just like one of those syllogisms our teachers tried in vain to teach us before the SAT, LSAT, etc: BBN likes people who can help Anthony Davis succeed. Austin Rivers can help Anthony Davis succeed. Therefore, BBN should like Austin Rivers.

That said, I know it won’t be easy for UK fans to flip a switch on Austin Rivers. That’s why I’ve compiled a list of all the things that make Austin Rivers a likable guy, on and off the basketball court. I will concede that it wasn’t easy and I was texting Ally Tucker at 11:36pm last night begging for help. However, it’s a start.

1. Before the draft, Rivers participated in the NBA Cares event, in which 200 Harlem Boys and Girls Club members spent a day with future pros running through drills. He told a reporter after the event, “That was fun.” Charity = good. Plus, MKG was there too- he’s gotta be a good influence on anyone in his general vicinity.

2. He’s a hustler, baby. No, not in the on-court sense exactly- more like in the same sense that Anthony Davis is trying to brand himself. Much like Davis has trademarked the Brow, Rivers is in the process of trademarking the acronym “M.o.a.M”, which stands for Man on a Mission. He describes the motto as “an ideal quote for people to keep on grinding.”

3. He’s not sexist! He’s going to trademark W.o.a.M. too, saying “I want girls to be able to say they’re working hard.” Thanks, Austin! Couldn’t have done it without ya. Title IX, bro!

4. This may be a controversial item on the list, but here’s an early morning confession: when I saw this happen in real life, I was happy for the kid. Making a game-winning shot would be on my sports bucket list (along with landing a triple axel and dunking a basketball), and as long as it’s not against Kentucky, I love the drama, the excitement, and the pure joy seen in those moments. So here. Have a heart.

5. He’s got a great role model. Austin is a coach’s kid. He knows the game and has been around pros his entire life. I’m a Doc Rivers fan, and it seems like Doc has a good head on his shoulders when it comes to knowing when to give his son advice and when to back off a bit. With maturity and time, Austin can grow into the likable guy that his father is.

6. He forgets where he parked his car too. Dukies- they’re just like us.

7. And if all else fails… baby picture!

Did you just unfollow me? I was afraid that would happen. If not, @KristenGeilKSR

Source: ksrcollege.com

UK vs UNC: Who “Won”?

I couldn’t find a screenshot of that irritating UK vs UNC scoreboard that ESPN kept showing last night, so we’ll just have to look at this picture again.

For just a minute, let’s set aside the fact that UK beat UNC in what was possibly the best college basketball game of last season. Forget that UK ended up winning the national title, while UNC bowed out in the Elite Eight. Try not to compare UK’s incoming top-ranked recruiting class to UNC’s eighth ranked. Instead, let’s look at last night as the singular focus of competition: which school had a better showing at the NBA draft last night? 

The Case for UNC

UNC’s claim to this made-up competition is simple: four players in the top seventeen picks,three of which were lottery picks. Harrison Barnes at 7, Kendall Marshall at 13, John Henson at 14, and Tyler Zeller at 17. That’s a high concentration of UNC players within ten picks, and Roy Williams looked pretty smug holding four flat bills in his hands. All four started for UNC this season. Without a freshman representative, the argument can be made that Barnes and Marshall made the right call to return for their sophomore seasons and increase their draft stock, while Tyler Zeller stayed all four years and as a reward gets to go to… Cleveland (couldn’t resist). And let’s be honest- for a second, when that stupid scoreboard said “UK 2, UNC 4,” BBN’s hearts sunk a little bit under our unfulfilled expectations that Jones or Teague would have gone already.

The Case for UK

The first one-two punch in NBA draft history. Not much more needs to be said than that, but let’s go on just for fun. So UNC had four picks of the top seventeen? That’s nice. UK had three of the top eighteen, which isn’t much different at all (and let’s not forget the 2010 NBA draft when UK had four players in the top eighteen). UK had two of the lottery picks and four total in the first round to match UNC. Our total of six players drafter was the highest in the history of the two-round NBA draft format. 6 > 4. 

But most importantly, Coach Cal saw all of his “guys” get drafted. This time last year, you probably could have guessed that those four UNC players would go in the draft. You wouldn’t have said the same about Darius Miller and Marquis Teague. Under Cal, Kentucky has proven just how far a player with potential can come with the right guidance, the right supporting cast, and the right mindset when approaching a professional career. From a freak-of-nature who came out of nowhere to dominate college basketball to a homegrown Kentucky boy who weathered the program through the best and worst of times, there’s no top-six rotation player Cal isn’t capable of sending to the NBA. 

It’s not even close. Kentucky beat UNC in this ESPN-created “competition” by a landslide.  But let’s not forget who the real losers are- Louisville and Indiana, where were y’all on my Twitter feed last night?

Anyone want to come visit for the Bulls-Hornets game? @KristenGeilKSR. 

Source: ksrcollege.com

NBA Draft Scavenger Hunt!

Put on your three goggles, folks- it’s time for KSR College’s NBA Scavenger Hunt! Grab some friends and see who can rack up the most points. Winner gets a White Bentley, runner-up gets a nice steak dinner on MKG’s tab. Loser has to go play for Frank Martin in South Carolina before attempting to make it to the pros. Aaaaanddd… GO!

Anthony Davis gets chosen with the first overall pick (3 points. Just so everyone can feel good about themselves)

Replay of “The Shot” from Indiana-Kentucky game Dec. 10 (5 points)

Draftee wearing an ill-fitting suit (7 points)

Draftee wearing a just plain ugly suit (15 points)

Sit-down with Coach Cal (1 point)

Comparison of UK players in the draft 2012 vs 2010 (3 points)

MKG’s mom (2 points)

Michael Jordan looking disgruntled (7 points)

The phrase “He should have stayed in school one more year” (4 points)

Draftee wearing thick-rimmed non-prescription hipster glasses (3 points)

Jared Sullinger singing “Draft Me, Maybe” to an NBA GM (40 points)

Replay of Davis blocking the UNC shot (3 points)

Someone’s mom crying (1 point each time it occurs)

Three goggles (3 points. Just for parallelism’s sake)

David Stern throwing three goggles (300 points)

Brad Calipari (10 points)

Draftee wearing sunglasses indoors (14 points)

Jeremy Lamb mumbling (8 points)

Discussion about Royce White’s plane anxiety (0 points. He’s dead to us now)

Draftee on his phone (2 points)

Terrence Jones glamor shot (20 points)

The gift that keeps on giving

Footage of UK after the championship game (10 points)

Lebron James dropping in and wearing a t-shirt with his own face on it (20 points)

Speculation about this draft’s Kwame Brown (5 points)

Discussion of Davis trademarking his unibrow (5 points)

Draftee tweets Meek Mill or Rick Ross lyrics upon being drafted (12 points)

Draftee goes for the pound with David Stern instead of the handshake (14 points)

Grainy footage of a lanky foreign player hitting a three (12 points)

Marquis Teague’s mustache (7 points)

The phrase “questions about his character” (15 points; +5 if referring to Royce White, Fab Melo, or Austin Rivers)

Jay Bilas using the word “swag” (10 points; +5 if it’s about a UK player’s fashion choice)

Renardo Sidney eating a cheeseburger (10 points)

Renardo Sidney eating a milkshake (15 points)

Renardo Sidney eating a turkey leg that he must have picked up at a Renaissance fair (50 points)

Renardo Sidney eating Casper Ware (100 points)

Draftee hits his Dougie upon being drafted (50 points)

All six Kentucky players get drafted (Everyone gets 1000 points and has to take a bourbon shot with Kentucky Ale chaser. You didn’t realize this was a drinking game too? CAAAYYYUTSSSS)

Any additional suggestions? Comment below or tweet @KristenGeilKSR.

Source: ksrcollege.com

Draft Me, Maybe

+ =

  ?

Andrew Sharp of SBNation placed Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, Terrence Jones, and Doron Lamb on his “Probably Definitely Draft These Guys” list, which is a less than ringing endorsement but hey, at least no UK players ended up on the “Probably Definitely Do Not Draft These Guys” list. Furthermore, in one of the most creatively embellished similes I’ve seen on the Internet to date, Sharp compares MKG to… the offspring of a Swiss Army Knife and a Honey Badger? No, I didn’t make that up. Take a look yourself:

Michael Kidd-Gilchrist — If a Swiss Army Knife had a baby with a honey badger, you would get MKG. I think his stock has suffered partly because the only comparison people can think of is Gerald Wallace. In that case, remember: Swiss Army Knife. Honey Badger. He will murder people, with or without a jumpshot.

So, to put that into regular English, MKG can and will do anything a team needs on the court (in the wilderness?) while simultaneously ripping open your throat and showing off his ferocious defensive abilities. I gotta say, I’ll take MKG being called a Swiss Army Badger over a kid any day (but MKG don’t care. MKG don’t give a shit!… I’m sorry. It had to be done).

As for Lamb and Jones, Sharp notes that Jones was a solid player on a team full of Kentucky pros and will be a valuable third option, while also predicting that Lamb will have a long and steady yet unflashy NBA career. I’ll take it. For his full list of NBA draft predictions, click here.

@KristenGeilKSR

Source: ksrcollege.com

Hey Royce, This is What Friendly Trash Talk Looks Like

Take notes, and don’t mess with BBN again.

@KristenGeilKSR

Source: ksrcollege.com

Fresh Meat: Introducing KSR College’s New Writers

(Not our actual interns. To be honest these guys seem a lot cooler though)

Get excited, readers. KSR College has some new pledges on the site, and today marks the first day that we let them loose. We scoured the Central Kentucky area for the best and the brightest, the most ridiculous and the most UK-obsessed, and of course, the most karaoke-enthused— and this is the group we came up with. I feel kind of like Coach Cal, because we have the number one blog recruiting class in the nation for the second year in a row. I feel a dynasty being built…

First requirement is that all new writers shave KSR College into the back of their heads.

Below is a brief bio of each writer, along with their Twitter handle, so you can follow them and keep track of their work with the site. We’re really excited to have them and to read some fresh perspectives on UK athletics- especially now that it’s summer and no one in their right mind wants to post multiple times a day. Score one for having more staff members! I can already tell they are vast improvements over Bryan the Intern. Enjoy, folks.

Dean Bowling- @DeanBowlingKSR

Dean didn’t actually send me a bio, so I’ll just recap what I have learned from stalking his Twitter. His Twitter bio is “Rather Unique.” He was pleased with the results of the NBA finals. He recently went to O’Charley’s. And he once hung Todd Frazier’s laundry.

Havana Childers- @HChildersKSR

“I’m transferring from WKU to UK and I’ll be a sophomore. I was a sport management/broadcast double major but now I’m undecided (probably journalism/broadcasting or marketing). I know SO many useless celebrity facts-I would die to have Perez Hilton’s job-he also responded to me on Twitter once, it completed my life. I wish the 90s were still around so anything 90s/Early 2000s-preferably Backstreet Boys, Hilary Duff and Britney Spears. My greatest ambition is to be Topanga Lawrence-only because of Cory Matthews though-I love Boy Meets World as well and my greatest hope is that I will one day be adopted by a Kardashian/Jenner.”

Terrence “T Bone” Gill- @trgKSR

“Well, to you, I am T-Bone, but my real name is Terrence Gill (Terry).  I am entering my sophomore year at Kentucky where I major in management, however, I may change my major this fall. I am also a member of Delta Tau Delta Fraternity at UK. Right now, I am living in Black Mountains, NC working at a summer camp on their work crew until July 13th.  I am big into doing outdoor activities like mountain biking and hiking, so this had been an ideal place to live this summer.  My greatest hope is winning the lottery.  The way I look at it, it isn’t a matter of “if I win the lottery”, it’s just a matter or “when I win the lottery”, which will most likely be in the next 5-7 years.  After I win the lottery, I am going to buy a sports franchise and make myself and all my best friends the owners/players on the team. Yes, that’s right, you may see me playing shooting guard for the Sacramento Kings one day.  My greatest ambition in life is to be able to wake up every morning and have no stress and be worry free in my every day life/job.  When it comes to karaoke, I know a thing or two about singing Shaggy- Wasn’t me, and my all time favorite karaoke song, Bon Jovi- Livin’ on a prayer.”

John Michael Holzapfel- @JMHolzapfelKSR (currently competing with Wilder Muse Treadway for Best KSRC Name)

“I am a senior journalism student at the University of Tennessee. My greatest hope is to see the Vols back on top of the college football world and my greatest ambition is to change the way UK fans view Tennessee fans (Impossible? not at all). I want to give this site a fresh perspective in Kentucky Wildcat news. Also, I only roll with Vanilla Ice when I’m dominating Karaoke.”

Annie Hughes- @AnnieOakleyKSR

“Born in NKY, I’m in my last semester at UK, majoring in Political Science. My greatest hope and ambition is to marry Michael Kidd-Gilchrist and document the 37 different stages of his god like smile, but since that isn’t happening anytime soon, I would love to travel the country writing about, or working in, either politics or sports. As to my go to song on Karaoke, I have the cultured voice of someone who recently had their tonsils removed via butter knife, therefore I like to go with the loudest and most obnoxious song most currently on the playlist. If that isn’t option, I tend to try and ruin Don’t Stop Believing by Journey, one attempt at a time.”

Jack Heyburn

Jack also did not send me a Twitter handle or bio, but you can expect his first post tonight at 8 pm. Perhaps he’s working on cultivating a mysterious air. Well played, Mr. Heyburn.

Andrew McCarthy- @McCarthyKSR

“Born and raised in Boston, Mass.  Went to UK for three years before transferring to Boston University… Eventually realized that was a terrible idea, and re-enrolled back at UK this summer.  Graduating in December with a degree in International Studies.  J-School is probably next.  Greatest hope is for Rondo to develop a jump shot.  Greatest ambition is to write the definitive profile of Vanilla Ice.  Karaoke go-to is Tiny Dancer (judge all you want… I kill it). Democrat and Boston sports fan (not sorry about it).”

Thomas Mims- @KSR_ThomasAMims

“College and Major: Xavier University, majoring in digital media. Greatest Hope: A cure for Cystic Fibrosis. Greatest Ambition: To become well known for my Sportswriting and broadcasting and use that popularity to help find a cure for CF. Go To Karaoke Song with partners: Bohemian Rhapsody. Go To Karaoke Song (Solo): Lose Yourself by Eminem because I can’t sing solo. At all.”

 Follow them, follow me, follow everyone! @KristenGeilKSR

Source: ksrcollege.com

SEC One Step Closer to World Domination

With the College World Series finals beginning today, South Carolina has a chance to add to the SEC’s stellar athletic domination this year.

Can they three-peat?

South Carolina is looking to win its third CWS in a row, which would give the title to the SEC for the fourth year in a row (LSU won in 2009). Outside of baseball, this would be the SEC’s tenth National Championship during this academic year (out of twenty sports). Even cooler? The SEC would be the first league in nearly 40 years to win each of the “Big Three” titles in the same year (football, men’s basketball, and baseball).

So, even though Kentucky saw an earlier exit than we had hoped from the College World Series this year, a South Carolina series win against Arizona would further cement the fact that the SEC is the best conference in college sports. The teams play at 8 pm ET on ESPN2/ESPN3.

@KristenGeilKSR

Source: ksrcollege.com

Ten Unwritten Commandments of UK Fandom

Yesterday, Sarah Spain (a Chicago sports writer and blogger for ESPNW) wrote a post about the unwritten rules of being a female sports fan (The Right Way for Females to Fan). Although I have a few thoughts about her post, some positive (YES! Those “jerseys” from Victoria’s Secret ARE the stupidest!) and some negative (Uh, does the fact that this article was written at all say anything about how we still assign gender to sports?), I did start to thinking about the unwritten rules for being a Kentucky fan. Here’s what I came up with:

1. Never, ever, ever cheer for Duke basketball (or Christian Laettner). I can imagine scenarios in which it may be acceptable to cheer for Louisville- like, if they’re in the tournament longer than we are (which would never happen, but relax, people, this is hypothetical) and you want to root for the state of Kentucky in general. Without Bobby Knight, Indiana is a lot less detestable. UNC is, in my mind at least, an elite program worthy of our respect. But Duke is in a league of its own. We hate their stinking guts. They make us vomit. They are the scum between our toes. The Stomp, The Shot, Coach K’s legions of sheeplike disciples, and Dick Vitale’s constant praise of the Cameron Crazies- no. Just no. It is never acceptable to feel anything short of gut-wrenching hatred for Duke. Even ambivalence is too kind.

 

Note: Many of you tweeted at me (which is awesome! I love when that happens!) disagreeing with my statement above and arguing that in fact, UK fans should never wear red or feel sympathetic towards that red team down I-64. I don’t disagree; however, I think hating Duke outweighs hating Louisville on my Commandments list. I think that playing Little Bro every year and being so geographically close to them makes our hatred for them a little different than hating Duke, who has broken our hearts and stolen our dignity on occassion. But, that’s just me. Feel free to agree/disagree in the comments.

2. Stand up and clap during the fight song. Similarly, stand up when the UK flag makes its rounds and faces your seat in the second half of basketball games. Throw your number one during My Old Kentucky Home. Don’t think for a second you are too cool or too lazy to stay in your seat during these moments. If the blue hairs can get up, so can you.

3. Topics akin to religion and politics that we avoid at the dinner table: Joker Phillips, Tubby Smith, the money given to football, and the Indiana series, among others. These discussions just won’t be pretty, so let’s skip them altogether. Ooh! Are those Sister Schubert rolls?

4. If a celebrity gives us a shoutout, we as BBN are indebted to them and must immediately buy/read/see their albums/books/movies, quote them excessively on Twitter, and post and repost pictures of them throwing the three goggles (also filed under: Drake, Jay-Z, Tucker Max, LeBron James, and Josh Hopkins).

However, World Wide Wes is like that close family friend that you call “Uncle” and attends all the family reunions, but isn’t technically related. Don’t try to force an association between us and him.

5. Always refer to the upcoming season as “our year.” No matter the sport.

6. Be able to name all of the Unforgettables. Really, this should be instituted in elementary school curriculum across the state.

7. Always wear Kentucky apparel when you travel. You’ll make friends and induce envy in those around you, and who knows, maybe the flight attendant will upgrade you to first class.

8. At least one of your social media profile pictures must include the following: three goggles, a present or former UK basketball player, John Walling, a unibrow, Jorts, or a national championship celebrations.

9. It’s not hoarding if it’s UK memorabilia. This applies to newspapers, Sports Illustrated issues, lawn gnomes, anything with an autograph, old t-shirts, Orange Leaf receipts, ticket stubs, free posters from Rupp, Makers Mark bottles, coozies, baby clothes (even if you don’t have a baby, although that’s admittedly a little strange), license plates, plastic cups and other drinkware, lunchboxes, stuffed animals, flags, stickers and pretty much anything short of severed body parts. Although if the body part had a UK tattoo on it… nah, just kidding.  

In my mind, this does not belong on a “fail” blog. 

10. No major life events during March Madness. Weddings, funerals, and births should be rescheduled accordingly. Missing said event because of a UK game is automatically forgiven. Alternatively, such events should make sure a television is present to show the entire game, complete with sound.

And one to grow on…

11. Billy who?

Any more ideas? Share them in the comments or tweet them @KristenGeilKSR.

Source: ksrcollege.com

1996 Team Reunites in KY This Weekend

Remember all our debates about whether the 1996 or 2012 Cats were superior? Well, here’s your chance to ask the 96ers yourself. As a benefit for the Derek Anderson Foundation, which raises funds for abused and battered women and children, many members of the 1996 team are reuniting for a full weekend of meet-and-greets, events, and autograph signings. The former Cats who have confirmed their attendance are Derek Anderson (who recently retweeted Ally Tucker in the greatest moment of her Internet life), Tony Delk, Walter McCarty, Jeff Sheppard, Anthony Epps, Antoine Walker, Ron Mercer, and Wayne Turner.

Here’s where you can find them (hint- not in St. Louis rollin’ on dubs):

-Friday, 6-7:30pm: Team autograph signing at Chrysler on Nicholasville Road

-Friday, 8-10pm: Team bowling tournament with the fans at JD Legends Bowling in Nicholasville

-Saturday, 7pm: Fundraiser/launch party for Anderson’s new bottled water venture, “Victory H20,” the proceeds of which will benefit the Derek Anderson Foundation. It will be held in the Bluegrass Ballroom of Heritage Hall in Lexington, and ticket information can be found here. Other beloved former Cats will be on hand for this event, including some from the most recent national championship team.

Great cause, great Wildcats, and a great excuse to get out and see some of your favorite players. Someone tweet me a picture of Antoine Walker in bowling shoes, please?

@KristenGeilKSR

Source: ksrcollege.com